EVENT NO EVENT
How I dismantled various sector selves as an apprenticeship to greater liberation and love or how I redefined my chemical syntax through peruvian tea, Dzogchen, Art, Friendship and death.
I had to invent a new language to name various spiritual, psychological, emotional processes occurring at multiple registers and with different degrees of intensity and duration when I deliberately went under, inbetween, and through.
Sector Eg-dev----zone 14 Orchid: This strata was extremely rigid and layered.
Origin: repeated violations physical and emotional of space of intimacy in historically proximate environments early in developmental sequence. Intense fear avoidance response habits when in space of intimacy developed. Foundational affective reciprocity severely altered. Betrayal, abandoment, fear. Non self loving mantras.
Solar Potential: HEaling approaches used: Space of wonder, creativity, innocence , power and belonging: Retrieved by Yoga therapy during Reneuralization phase 9 delta of Brilliant Sky of Eudamia (an Elemental Gain through Event). Elemental means sense of efficacy, goodness and self affirmation occurred.
Cobra Pose, Child Pose, Dead mans pose: Duration 2hrs. 1 session:Decisive distinction between abuse and pre abuse somatic intelligence attained. In other words a palpable difference between my physically and psychologically abused body and my non abused body was felt and experienced.
Sectors Rel 14, 28, 35, 49. Zones cobalt blue 21 with shifting meridans. Problem: accumulated sedimented memory beds of relationship derailment stemming from Sector Eg-dev---zone 14 Orchid along with separate subsequent alternate bio-socialization histories compose various psycho-spiritual stratums . Maturational differentiations complicated. Result: not thoroughly dematerialized grief, fear, rage. Episodic liberated forces of love and power compromised.
Previously Applied Converters: Friendship, therapy, philosophy, self help models, 30 lovers, assorted cats, special diets and athletics. Range of efficacy: Shallow to partially deep dematerialization. Benefits: moderate to profound insight and transformation of specific compromised segments. It would take 2 and half years to access and release various emotions and embedded meanings around history of abuse after inducing psychospiritual transformation. I would have to love again deeply and be wounded deeply to decisively reneuralize my subtle body.
Elemental Gains through Event: Supremely deep spontaneous emergent buoyant shimmering light as sense of no self. Impromptu waves of peace, openness, and acceptance through Stabilized Creative interweaving with space time energy variance as ongoing experiential embodiments. Presence. But not sufficiently stable.
MEDICINE BOX: Experiences and Methodologies to clear the entity I now call Tezaquatl from my heart chakra.
THE VECTORS OF DEATH: Intention/thought as sheer creative power unbounded. Request set at Ayahuasca ceremony to heal/clear Sectors, zones, constellated energy matrices. Central Nervous System, Energy system in need of recalibration, Cosmic tweaking and optimal alignment for Self Radiant recognition.
Amplify forces of liberated love. Dematerialize blocks for Unbounded wholeness. Historical self freed to Non dual emptyness. Silence does not exist or it exists only in relation to brain.
MULTI DIMENSIONAL LABYRINTHS AND THE FLIGHTS OF HELL:
Agony Screams Suicidal Red. Eyeballs bursting with flowing rage..Pools of death dilate pupils. Convulsions. Despair tears muscles and fissures skull in seizures of inconsolable grief. Can not stop cycling anguish and self immolation through veins and capillaries inside my head.. Crash against house walls. Tumble on floor. Howl in pain till voiceless. I want gun to blow pain out. Body and mind now dismembered into sliced carnality seeking destruction. Terror.
Time Frame : approximately 6 weeks post Ceremony Yet 2 and a half years for clearance cycle to complete (Oct 2006-Summer 2008)
Ceaseless torment with infrequent reprieve. Suicide one behavior car drive away. Heart racing continously. Rabid and boneless.
Later with exlover R similar self destructive loop apprehended through deep open love for her and subsequent shamanic interventions to liberate us both further.
THE BRILLIANT SKY OF EUDAMIA:
Applied medicinal successes circulate as stellar antidotes during immersion and dismemberments. Attainments from Converters released like solar bits of Mana through out immune system and various lymbic and neocortical nodes and folds. Medium of language through friends generate morphic resonating fields of love, light, and power. Inherent acceptance and surrender to Bioprocess of Integration and release present.
Conceptual constructs of spatiotemporal material ordinates reconfigured. Remolecularization of dna codes. Stored ritual joo-joo dislocates axial compounds and clears chi flow at relevant intercalated bioforms inside body. Bliss portals opened through induced evacuation via Cermony.
Spontaneous liberated deliverances.
Creative architectonics in the bioquadrants of Energy/Matter.
Transparency and fluid diaphonous streaming from subatomic signatures.
Duration and intensity as remolecularizing cosmic forces.
Openness. Trust. Brilliance. Peace.
On to Incandescent Agency.
On to living with a simple good open heart and to place absolute trust in the Universe, Tao, Shiva, Self, God. Total surrender to Divine presence (which is this all along).